


Heartbreakers

by roe87



Series: Steve/Bucky modern au's [25]
Category: Captain America (Comics), Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Action, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Attempted Murder, Attempted Seduction, Awkward Flirting, BAMF Bucky Barnes, Bickering, Canon-Typical Violence, Comedy, Comedy of Errors, Crack Treated Seriously, Dark Comedy, Established Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Established Relationship, Fake Marriage, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Gay Bucky Barnes, Gay Steve Rogers, Grumpy Bucky Barnes, Happy Ending, Humor, Implied Bottom Bucky Barnes, Implied Sexual Content, James "Bucky" Barnes/Alexander Pierce - Freeform, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers-centric, Lesbian Natasha Romanov, Lesbian Sharon Carter (Marvel), M/M, Minor Sharon Carter/Natasha Romanov, Non-Graphic Violence, Old Married Couple, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Protective Steve Rogers, Russian Bucky Barnes, Sassy Steve Rogers, Seduction, Sugar Daddy, Undercover Missions, Undercover as a Couple, sugar baby bucky barnes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:13:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26816404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roe87/pseuds/roe87
Summary: Bucky and Steve are in a happy, loving, long term relationship.If anyone asked them what they did for work, they could easily spin a few lies. The truth is, they target rich single men in order to take their money and fund their lifestyle. It's worked for years.Now, Bucky has a tipoff about billionaire businessman Alexander Pierce, and he wants to move in for the kill.Unfortunately, doing away with Pierce proves to be trickier than he or Steve had bargained for, but neither of them are the type to back down from a challenge.(a crack au of: how many times can Bucky and Steve attempt to murder Pierce and have it go so spectacularly wrong?)
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Other(s), James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: Steve/Bucky modern au's [25]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1350943
Comments: 14
Kudos: 44





	Heartbreakers

**Author's Note:**

> So anyway I thought, what if I smooshed Heartbreakers/Debbie from Addams Family Values/How to lose a guy in 10 days, all into one au and have Bucky as a gay male 'black widow' seducing rich men and stealing their cash, with Steve as his loving doting boyfriend helping him??? :D
> 
> Anyway this is just for fun, enjoy! 
> 
> Please read the tags!
> 
> And btw, I'm actually a big fan of Robert Redford, I think he has a real magnetic presence. So this fic will have more of a charming Redford-esque Pierce vibe, not a creepy/evil Pierce; because I have no interest in doing anything horrible to Bucky, I just want to fuck up his best laid plans enough to make him a bit cross in the name of comedy. *lol*
> 
> ~~~

The sun was out without a cloud in the sky, and it looked to be another blazing hot day in Los Angeles.

Bucky was on his favorite sunlounger by the pool, wearing lavender silk shorts, a matching robe and a big white sunhat. He could afford to dress with a little flair when on his own property; to be himself.

He had his morning mimosa in hand, and a stack of magazines he was slowly flicking through, circling anything of interest. His iPlayer was nearby, under the shade of a parasol, playing the soft melody of _Unforgettable_ by Nat King Cole.

This was the life, truly. They'd really made it, Bucky thought. The only thing was, the life they'd chosen was expensive, and Bucky was thinking about the future and what they'd need for a cozy retirement.

Out the corner of his eye he saw Steve appear, back from his morning errands. Bucky lowered his magazine so he could watch his gorgeous boyfriend approach, walking alongside the pool.

Steve looked like a badass biker these days, Bucky thought with a smile. His hair had grown out, and he had a dark beard too. He'd gotten a couple of tatts on his bulging biceps, and one on his collarbone. Usually Steve was in well worn jeans and a tank, completing the biker look, but right now all he had on was his swim shorts and sunglasses.

"Hey, Buck," Steve greeted, coming around the sunlounger. His hand trailed across Bucky's shoulder, squeezing affectionately.

"Hey, handsome," Bucky replied. He reached up to touch Steve's forearm, returning the affectionate squeeze.

They'd been together a long time now, but all the little touches had never stopped. They were still very much in love.

"Whatcha doin'?" Steve asked, dragging the second sunlounger around so he was in the shade of the parasol.

Bucky winced at the noise, interrupting his peace and quiet. "Well," he started, waiting for Steve to settle down before continuing, "I'm doing a little research."

"Oh?" Steve glanced at the pile of magazines, flicking through them quickly. "Forbes, Business Insider, and Hollywood gossip rags." He removed his sunglasses and tilted his head to catch Bucky's eye. "You got a tip."

Bucky smiled. "Nat," he said, by way of explanation.

"Ah." Steve nodded. "And how is your beard these days?"

"Still honeymooning with _your_ beard." Bucky laughed quietly. "If I'd known that Nat and Sharon getting together was going to take them both out of the game, I wouldn't have introduced them."

"They're happy." Steve shrugged. "They deserve some time off."

"Mmm," Bucky replied, circling a section on page with his red marker pen. "Lucky for us, Nat still passes on tips. Here." He showed the magazine to Steve to let him see.

Steve took it and glanced at the page. "Alexander Pierce," he read, "successful businessman, corporate... yadda, yadda... donates one million dollars to _the_ _Republican party_." Steve pulled a face as he looked up at Bucky. "Ew?"

"Yeah, well." Bucky shrugged a shoulder. "Obviously he's a douche, but the tip is, he never married, he's often seen with handsome younger men, and _most specifically_ ," Bucky waggled his eyebrows, "he seems to like male models of a Slavic background."

"Uh oh." Steve grinned wickedly. "You wanna hit him with your Russian charm?"

"I'll have to research more before I pick an identity," Bucky said, opening a new magazine. "I need to be someone he hasn't met yet. Russian, Romanian, or whichever fits best."

"Okay," Steve agreed. "Sounds like you've already decided to do this job?"

"Babe," Bucky said calmly, "when you find a rich target who wants a rugged American biker, you let me know. Until then, let's go with my lead. Besides," he folded the magazine around to show Steve another article, "this Pierce guy is a billionaire that likes to gift his boyfriends. I mean, if he's that generous, maybe I don't even have to kill him!"

Steve laughed at that. "Okay, Buck. It's your mission, I'll back you up. And you know," he added slyly, "I've kinda missed your sexy Russian accent, so this will be fun."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> I just wanted to have a silly, fun WIP to play with. If you want to suggest things to happen, go ahead! I'm open to prompts.
> 
> I am on [tumblr](http://jro616.tumblr.com) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/jro616).


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